September 2010
2 posts
7 tags
Why I Hate Your Boyfriend
On the surface, he’s a decent person, I guess.
I don’t really believe that for a second. A decent person would not treat you the way he does. Disrespect me, sure. But he doesn’t respect you. Or any woman. I don’t think he’d hurt you physically. There are so many better ways to hurt a person that don’t even leave a mark.
He drains you financially. And...
May 2010
1 post
May 20th is Everybody Draw Muhammed Day!
Celebrate.
January 2010
1 post
I Hate Your Ex
I was holding him standing over the sink, his hair tied back roughly, and I put my hand on his back.
“How you doing?” I asked.
“Debbie?”
“Yeah, no.”
“Miranda?”
“There ya go.”
I have never met Debbie, nor even seen a picture of her. And I hate her. Maybe I hate her because he loved her once. Maybe I hate her because part of me is...
November 2009
1 post
October 2009
4 posts
What did I do to Deserve you?
It’s weird. My first few boyfriends were practice, I guess, but what I learned from them was that good actors make bad partners, artists are happy to be losers, and martial artists, while physically fit, are boring. So, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, right?
I had all but given up on finding anyone worth spending a moment of my time on. I went on a few dates,...
Science Question
Having called out from a get-together, I was preparing for bed when the phone rings...
Blake: Hey, Stray. What's up?
Me: Hey! Nothing. How are you?
Blake: Not too bad. I got a science question for you.
Me: Okay....
Blake: How do you spell "pussy"?
Me: ...B-L-A-K-E. Why?
Blake, to the others in the room: Hey, she spells it B-L-A-K-E.
Others: That's awesome!
Blake: So, other than the fact that you're a loser, why aren't you coming?
Once I extorted chocolate out of the young man, I did end up going, and we saw Trick 'R Treat, which was not a scary movie, but is a truly awesome Halloween flick which keeps you guessing and never lets you get away with assumptions.
“[Stray] is like a paleontologist, so when she buries your ass, they won’t...”
– Blake
September 2009
6 posts
“How many times do we live? Oh yeah. Once.”
– Ritz
Indecent Proposal
Guy with no teeth: Hey, you got any water?
Me: No. But the McDonald's down the way might.
Guy: There's a McDonald's?
Me: Yeah. It's over there,
Later...
Guy with no teeth and no water: Hey, how long you worked here?
Me: About two weeks.
Guy with no teeth: Are you married?
Me: No, sir.
Guy with no teeth: You want to be?
Me: No, thank you.
There it is. I was proposed to by a total stranger who makes more in the unemployment line than I make in a year. And he has no teeth.
The Lion and the Tigress
I had started this long blog set to the tune of The End Complete III: The End Complete by Coheed and Cambria about my days in the museum I used to work in and I intend to post it later.
However, I wanted to write a little on these confusing feelings I have in another aspect of my life entirely…my long-forgotten love life.
A month or so ago I went to a hot-tub (hot is stretching it, as it...
Call Me Stray
I wanted my first blog to be something meaningful, but an introduction seems important too. Call me Stray. Not because I get lost no matter where I’m going, although I do, but because I have been wandering for many years now. What do I mean by wandering? I mean that I have expanded my horizons, nothing more. I will try anything once, usually out of the optimism that it might be good. ...
“We are all Graphite wishing we were Diamond.”
